SelfAdoration.com


Driving the conversation: Here’s to better days for The Movie Mogul.

“Here’s to better days! All aboard!”A Ramblin’ Gamblin’ Willie story Saturday, October 14, 2017 “Here’s to better days.” I said that to The Movie Mogul. It seemed like the thing to do. He was shocked, to say the truth. It … Continue reading
SelfAdoration.com
Oct. 14, 2017, 4:57 p.m.

Las Vegas redeems who? Meet Pastor Trey Coyle, televangelism’s only nerd bible-thumper.

Flip around the TV dial. Early morning, Sunday morning, your local religious-broadcasting affiliate, cable channels. Try to find another nerd televangelist. There are nerd Baptists and nerd Catholics, sitting behind desks and reading from books. But a nerd bible-thumper is … Continue reading
SelfAdoration.com
Oct. 11, 2017, 3:04 p.m.

A Las Vegas redemption? See it when TV’s Pastor Trey Coyle takes on Sarno’s Ghost – at Caesars Palace!

“Is there anything else people can do at casinos – besides, you know, winning?”I was working on a farce set in Las Vegas when the town got shot up. It’s a Willie story, a #MyKindOfBenedy called “Las Vegas Redemption: Pastor Trey … Continue reading
SelfAdoration.com
Oct. 9, 2017, 2:06 p.m.

The practical ontology of mourning undead poets: Which Tom Petty song sings loudest from you?

“Don’t let it kill you, baby.Don’t let it get to you.Don’t let it kill you, baby.Don’t let it get to you.I’ll be your bleedin’ heart.I’ll be your cryin’ fool.Don’t let this go too far.Don’t let it get to you…”Photo by: … Continue reading
SelfAdoration.com
Oct. 4, 2017, 4:59 p.m.

#LasVegasShooting: Looking for the backstory behind the Massacre at Mandalay Bay.

So here’s a theory of the crime for Sunday night’s Massacre at Mandalay Bay. No, that’s over-stating things. What I have is less a theory than a backstory, a way of explaining how this could have happened. This is all … Continue reading
SelfAdoration.com
Oct. 3, 2017, 4:35 p.m.

This is Vegas: Working up the courage to take in the most gawk-worthy spectacle on earth.

I bought my wife a gift, that’s what happened. Huge, momentous story, right? This is the Willie world: I don’t go to your church. If you want twelve dead bodies a page, with the bad guys flossing their teeth with … Continue reading
SelfAdoration.com
Oct. 2, 2017, 1:05 p.m.

Who really put the paradise in Las Vegas? Don’t ask…

CityCenter is the perfection of Paradise, and the Aria is the perfection of perfection, everything that any casino hotel resort could be if it were conceived by a genius and built to his exacting demands — price no object.Extracted from … Continue reading
SelfAdoration.com
Oct. 1, 2017, 2:04 p.m.

Liar’s Poker: You can’t win in Vegas – or anywhere – until you know what you’re playing for.

“You want to win. I could be more circumspect, but I’m trying to be respectful of your time. You want the win, and this is how Poker tournaments get decided at the end, by chop. If you insist we go … Continue reading
SelfAdoration.com
Sept. 28, 2017, 2:35 p.m.

Surfing The Deuce with Sarno’s Ghost.

Want to hear some juicy Vegas gossip? The Grace on the left had a boob-job.Extracted from the Ramblin’ Gamblin’ Willie book Losing Slowly, available at Amazon.com. I have great ideas. You have money. We should trade. A Ramblin’ Gamblin’ Willie … Continue reading
SelfAdoration.com
Sept. 26, 2017, 2:52 p.m.

RIP #NFL. Meanwhile, on @Netflix: See fathers validating daughters in a #MyKindOfBenedy double-feature.

If Sheldon Cooper and Holden Caulfield ever fought over a girl, Carrie Pilby would be the prize.Q: Why should an NFL team hire Colin Kaepernick? A: Because he hasn’t alienated all the fans yet. Q: Why would NFL players go … Continue reading
SelfAdoration.com
Sept. 24, 2017, 3:49 p.m.

The Desperation Waltz.

“Life isn’t about what you can’t know and can’t do. It’s about what you can know and can do. I couldn’t know my children would be taken from me so young, both at once, but I knew they’d die someday. … Continue reading
SelfAdoration.com
Sept. 23, 2017, 1:07 p.m.

#MyKindOfBenedy: #RealityHigh is a black-middle-class teen family mean-girls rom-com with everything!

Can nerdy-glam Dani find love?You’ll want to know – and that’s art’s job.That’s a joke, of course. “#RealityHigh” on Netflix is short only a slasher to fill out the entire teen-movie dance card. We start with “Carrie,” which sets up … Continue reading
SelfAdoration.com
Sept. 22, 2017, 2:31 p.m.

How the Rape of the Sabine Women helped me sue for peace and racial harmony.

“Do you get the point of the story? It’s about exogamy — out-marriage. When a black man marries a white woman, or the other way around, two families that may once have hated each other are now united by their … Continue reading
SelfAdoration.com
Sept. 22, 2017, 1:28 p.m.

Your sovereign ungovernability: The chains you bear are yours to break, whenever you want to.

You are a free moral agent as a manifestation of your nature as a human being, and there is nothing I can do to contravene or negate or obviate your sovereign freedom.Photo by: swong95765Let’s start with this idea: You are a … Continue reading
SelfAdoration.com
Sept. 21, 2017, 2:34 p.m.

Life on death row: Reflections of the universe from the funhouse-mirrored dungeons of the blind.

The truth is the truth not because it is factual but because it is universal. The mere facts of this incident or that one – always up for quibble – are little wisps of nothing, to be eroded away in … Continue reading
SelfAdoration.com
Sept. 19, 2017, 12:51 p.m.

How did Reggie and Shake buy their way into adulthood? With Bitcoin, of course.

Who wants to go zipline kayaking?Photo by: Mike MozartA Ramblin’ Gamblin’ Willie story September 16, 2017 “So we’re in Dick’s Sporting Goods, all the way up in the steel scaffolding in the ceiling. You know how it’s all open up … Continue reading
SelfAdoration.com
Sept. 16, 2017, 7:25 p.m.

John Wayne, John Galt and John McClane walk into a bar. Why does each of them come out alone?

“No. You’re wrong, punk.I’m the real plastic Jesus!”Photo by: Esparta PalmaNo, I’m not making a joke. I can come up with my own dumb-joke premises, thank you. And I’m not teaching Pickup For Swarthy Brutes. No, instead I’m talking about… … Continue reading
SelfAdoration.com
Sept. 13, 2017, 2:13 p.m.

Want the coolest new #Amazon headquarters, @JeffBezos? A shopping mall runs through it…

Definitely not a super-villain.How can regional malls survive Amazon.com? By providing on-site residential and employment opportunities for their own clientele. Cities worked when everyday errands had to be walkable. Suburbs worked when driving was unavoidable. Uber and Amazon work because … Continue reading
SelfAdoration.com
Sept. 11, 2017, 2:06 p.m.

What will save commercial real estate? Residential real estate. “Let’s go to the mall! Today!”

Robin Sparkles wasn’t wrong, just early:“Let’s go to the mall! Today!”Retail is dying. Movie theaters are dying. Schools and churches are dying. The world outside the home, especially the world of sociability among strangers, is shrinking, shriveling, vanishing. It’s not … Continue reading
SelfAdoration.com
Sept. 10, 2017, 2:08 p.m.

“News School.” An, edgy inspirational #MyKindOfBenedy peopled with gorgeous people.

The Iron Law of Television: There is no better television than television-about-television. Program accordingly.Illustration by: Diego Albero RománThis is not something I’ve written, just a treatment I wrote a few months ago to get the story out of my head. … Continue reading
SelfAdoration.com
Sept. 9, 2017, 2:30 p.m.