Captain Capitalism

Arbeit Macht Frei

The one thing missing from this, otherwise great, article is how debt ensures you guys all suffer HR ditzes, sadistic bosses, and with smiles on your faces.

Oh well, remember, Schmoopsie Muffins needs her Range Rover to impress the other soccer moms at the coffee store and your lil' Princess just "NEEDS" to go to that $250,000 a year liberal arts college.

It's all worth it.
Captain Capitalism
April 24, 2017, 10 p.m.

Die Radio Die!!!!

Awww, too bad.  Another dinosaur, gallbladder piece of the baby boomer economy going away.

I'll take that bit of your market, thank you very much NewsPaper/Radio/Television/Publishing industry.  And I sincerely hope all you ex journalists, television media and radio types frantically do your best to find a way to pay for your retirement these next 20 years. 

Hey, I hear the Huffington Post will let you work there for free!!!
Captain Capitalism
April 24, 2017, 7:11 p.m.

Warm Fuzzy Story of the Day

Got a comment that deserved to be it's own post in response to "The Best Dating a Girl from Wyoming Story Ever Told.

Thank you for posting this. I went through the exact same bullshit with a hot, sexually talented, former cheerleader, raving fucking alcoholic I worked with. Her pattern was to show up at work drunk, get fired or quit in a huff, then latch onto a beta to live with while she " planned " her next move. I was that beta and did everything possible to keep her, including buying booze. The end came when ...
Captain Capitalism
April 24, 2017, 5:28 a.m.

Late Night Cappy

Had nearly a score of videos backed up, two of which may prove interesting listening.

1.  Ayn Rand is Basic Bitch Economics
2.  How Conservative Guys Can Bang Liberal Chicks
Captain Capitalism
April 24, 2017, 5:22 a.m.

You are a Fucking Idiot for Attending Law School

These liberal arts undergrads-turned law students are so stupid they're CRYING when in reality they should be thanking their lucky stars they're not going into debt anymore.
Captain Capitalism
April 23, 2017, 6:56 a.m.


They're just so great and wonderful and they love the children.

Perhaps a little too much.

But it's OK, because they're teeeeeeaaacheeeeerrrrsss, the most preciously wonderful people on the planet!  And since they're leftists it's OK if they're child rapists and kidnappers.
Captain Capitalism
April 23, 2017, 6:53 a.m.

Cover for the New Essay

Finally found the right font and layout I wanted for the new essay.  Once again, a reminder that it is an ESSAY, not a book as it is only about 40-50 pages.  Also, if you are already actively practicing minimalism and are aware of its benefits, this book will largely be a review, though a MUCH MORE THOROUGH application of using the love for your fellow man as a means by which to eliminate materialism in your life, and consequently therefore, drastically improving your finances.  Ergo, if you are interested in the philosophy of what's most important in life, yes, ...
Captain Capitalism
April 22, 2017, 7:25 a.m.

The Best Dating a Girl from Wyoming Story Ever Told

Cynical Libertarian has a podcast out, a story of which he tells is an absolute must, not just for the entertainment value, but the lessons to learn for young boys chasing beauty and not much else.  The story starts at 41:41 and unless you want your ire raised, I suggest you just skip ahead to that minute mark.
Captain Capitalism
April 22, 2017, 6:19 a.m.

Why Millennial Girls Should Date Gen X Men

We're stronger.
We make more money.
We have established careers.
And we don't live at home.

The irony is with every Millennial girl looking like Harley Quinn (and I don't mean that in a good way), I doubt any quality Gen X men are going to be up for the job of baby sitting and telling you to take that stupid ring out of your nose.

Oh well, enjoy the decline.
Captain Capitalism
April 21, 2017, 6:26 a.m.

Broke Millennials Ordering $800 Bottle Service

Decided to crack down on the book and thusly have been spending many-a-late nights at various Perkins around St. Paul.  Also March and April have been record-setting months for Asshole Consulting (which on Tax Day celebrated it's 3rd year in business), which has also been taking an inordinate amount of time.

In the meantime if you'd kindly tune into the Pushing Rubber Downhill podcast wherein your kind Aussie host, Adam Piggott, will regale you with a tale about broke Millennials ordering $800 bottle service.
Captain Capitalism
April 21, 2017, 2:41 a.m.

Why Socialists are Passive Aggressive

Because unlike honest thieves, they're cowards:

Captain Capitalism
April 19, 2017, 10:09 p.m.

Equal Rights, Equal Fights!

Welcome to Team Man, ladies!  You are truly equal now.

Captain Capitalism
April 19, 2017, 3 a.m.

Episode #196 of the Clarey Podcast!

Clarey's a dick due to poverty, not choice.
Wells Fargo laughs at stupid Americans.
US womens soccer team 15 year old boys.
Australians bail out stupid liberal arts ditz.


In THIS EPISODE of The Clarey Podcast!

Direct MP3 link here.

RSS feed here.
Captain Capitalism
April 18, 2017, 7:54 p.m.

How the Left Blew their Entire Racist Load

I have a Clandestine Agent in the Field, deeply embedded within the strongest stronghold of the American left - the public schools.

Though I won't say what s/he does or where s/he is, s/he said something the other day that gave me, even the ole pessimistic, Enjoy the Decline, Cappy, a bit of genuine hope and optimism.

"They're not swallowing it anymore.  They're not believing all this privilege and racist stuff."

When I pressed my agent for more information, s/he continue to explain that the left through their most ardent of acolytes - teachers - were so ...
Captain Capitalism
April 17, 2017, 4:28 p.m.

You Will Worship the Bunny!

Worship it I tell you!!!!
Captain Capitalism
April 17, 2017, 7:41 a.m.

But Who Would Want to Work for The New York Times?

No, seriously, who?  Because you can make more just running your own channel.  Heck, just use them as a platform to get a critical mass of followers and then strike out on your own.  Let them pay for those expensive buildings and the rents of their employees while you can just work from the comfort of your own home in Springfield, Illinois for a fraction of the cost.
Captain Capitalism
April 17, 2017, 7:40 a.m.

The Week of Hell

Howdy all, couple items,

1 - I got a deluge of Asshole Consulting requests.  So many in fact, I may have to wake up before...


I know, I know, I don't know what kind of country this is where you have to wake up before noon AND work 8 WHOLE HOURS A DAY, but apparently this is what electing Trump has gotten us.

Regardless, the podcast may be a bit late as will post.

2.  High quality posts are being relegated to one a week because I'm also trying to finish ...
Captain Capitalism
April 17, 2017, 6:01 a.m.

Our Buddy Marcus Brown Makes It on Oshay Jackson's Vlogcast!

And no, the boy still hasn't seen Die Hard, Back to the Future, Indiana Jones or any other movies.  So don't ask.

Captain Capitalism
April 15, 2017, 6:51 a.m.

Fuck It, Take Our Women

You can have 'em.  We're done here.
Captain Capitalism
April 14, 2017, 3:30 p.m.

This Week's Asshole Consulting Videos Will Be on Daily Motion

The Video Platform Wars continue as I have to abandon because:

1.  You can only upload videos shorter than 30 minutes.
2.  You have a 2 GB per week limit and
3.  My application for verification got rejected

Alas, the experiment and hunt for a new video platform to potentially replace YouTube continues as this week's Asshole Consulting videos will be posted on my Daily Motion channel.
Captain Capitalism
April 14, 2017, 5:30 a.m.